Neutral

One day I'm negative, one day I'm positive. When I wake up and feel the growing rage under my skin, I realize that I'm never content with either side. Something's going to pop out, fission is to occur, and a massacre is going to rage through my life.

But is it a massacre on me, or my opponents. Every time I look in the mirror I see my opponent.

Today I was neutral, watching everything swirl and murder around me. All I can do is grin, but it's a complex thing. I can comprehend it. It's odd.

Being neutral, means I'm finally content.

Speed

My anticipations always, always kill me. I find myself hardly ever having patience. Never, ever, ever. Speed is an amazing attribute, but I need to know how to use it right. Of course this excludes somethings, like school. Despite that, other things I can't wait for. Somehow, I need to be fast at everything. Fast at everything, except realizing that all I really need is some patience...

All You Know

All these people. All of those opinions. All of those black, tar, splintering bullets.

Once they shoot, they're opinions come straight at your heart, or your eye, or your leg. You don't know they're real name, or where they're from or what they wanted to do when they grow up. You don't know if they're innocent or have succumbed to powerful gods. All you know, is that that person was trained to kill. One specific person. You.

All you know, is that bullet coming towards your face.

You don't know guilt, or repulsion, or anything personal of the enemy. All you know, is the bullet.

All you'll know...

Life. War. Death.

Prior to this I would of thought that I was to be torn between two worlds. Not anymore.

I don't know what to do, quite simply. I want to read, or play video games. Each one brings a need of the other.

I'll find myself shooting Nazi Zombies and wanting to read an adventure, and I find myself reading an adventure and wanting Nazi Zombies! I have to indulge myself, but somehow I'm never content with what I'm doing! Like this write now.

I know this writing is much different from what I usually write. I know, I know. It's crap.

Just... Indulge me.

$

Money blinds everyone, either way or the other.


Even when money's stacked short, ahem, like in my situation, it still blinds...

When it's stacked tall, it blinds...


Whoa. Who knew it was dark in this place?

Atoms

Niels Bohr introduced the latest model of the atom. According to his theory, the nucleus is made up of a certain amount of positively charged protons, and a certain amount of neutrally charged neutrons. Negatively charged electrons orbit the nucleus in their respected electron shells so with such intense speed that they're invisible.

Humans are made out of atoms.

Practically everything is made out of atoms.

I may be made out of atoms, but I don't resemble one. Before today I would of thought that negative things in fact did surround me. But I was wrong. My nucleus is indeed switched, as the protons and electrons are combined to make my nucleus, as it pumps to keep me a live and sane. Meanwhile, neutrons circle me as opinions crash, causing them to be neutral.

All I'm saying, is this...


If Niels Bohr was my therapist, he'd be wrong, and I'd be wrong.

Laws

All around there are laws. People break them and they get punished. There are governmental laws, and laws that you put on yourself so to keep your body or mind in line. Laws need sacrifice, and I haven't sacrificed.

Normally when an ancient society sacrificed something, it was for the greater good of the tribe or nation. Nothing now a days is going for the greater good of me.

I used to set laws on myself. I've broken them.

I need those laws back. Because if I don't have them back and enforced, I'm going to flip with agony.

Those who go against the law will suffer. I am most definitely suffering now.